Sometimes you need your own grand gesture

I'm taking a sabbatical - why and what that will look like - plus a movie that imprinted on me as a teen

In my romance writing classes, I talk about the importance of the grand gesture, meaning the moment in the book where the hero or heroine gets their head out of their butt, realizes the other person is for them, and then does something to let the other person know.

It’s the stereo being held above the head in Say Anything, it’s the “you complete me” speech in Jerry Maguire. It’s a declaration that the person is all in. They will do whatever it takes to be the best partner for the other.

Over the last few months, after I turned my last book in, I knew I was on the edge of burnout. I made a promise to myself to slow things down a bit. I chose not to pitch new books to my publisher yet so that I didn’t get another deadline immediately.

I thought that would be enough to give me some mental breathing room, to get some fresh inspiration and creative energy.

However, my muse has been unimpressed. Because I still kept pushing. I started tinkering with a story but got 75k words in and kept getting stuck. I continued doing all the author business things I need to do. I built a new writing class, launched it, and taught it. I started a podcast. I revamped this newsletter. I left no space.

And over the last couple of weeks, it hit home. My muse (my life, really) needs the grand gesture. I can’t half-ass a break. I have plowed the field too many times and it needs a fallow season.

I’ve been under deadline, pretty much without stopping, since late 2010 when I sold Crash Into You to Berkley. This has obviously been a huge blessing. My writing dreams came true. In this business, being able to say that I was continuously published for over a decade is a gift. Many writers who started at the same time as I did didn’t get that opportunity. I am supremely thankful.

However, this has also meant that I’ve been under deadline for over eleven years. The pressure has been there as a constant. It’s taken a toll, and lately, I’ve felt that more than I have ever before.

I don’t want to stop writing. I love my job. But it’s time to let the field go fallow for a while so that it can replenish and become fertile again. I don’t want to force out books because that’s going to show in my writing. I want to be excited when I sit down to write a story. I want to write books you’ll love.

And clearly, I’m not good at doing a “sort of” break, I need a grand gesture break.

So, I’ve decided to take a 6-month sabbatical. I reserve the right to change that timeline if the situation changes, but that’s my initial plan. My tentative end date is when school starts next August.

So what does that mean?

Well, first, there are still some things I will continue to do.

• For You & No One Else comes out in July. I will still be doing promo related to that when the release date gets closer.

• This newsletter - Writing this newsletter brings me joy and doesn’t feel like pressure so I plan to continue it and the romantic movie marathon

• RAD Reading podcast - I’ll continue to do the bi-weekly podcast. One of my goals for the sabbatical is to read a LOT so I’ll be bringing those reads to the podcast

• Writing conferences - I plan to be at Book Bonanza and may do another conference later in the year

• Instagram - I’m going to dial this back but will probably still pop in there. I’m playing this one by ear.

What I’m cutting out during the sabbatical:

• Pressure to write - I’m only going to write if I feel inspired/excited to do so

• Facebook page and Facebook reader group - I will only be posting announcements

• Twitter - I will only post announcements

• Teaching my writing classes - I may try to make some of these evergreen so that people can take them with recorded video instead of live video but we’ll see

• Email from my website - I’d already put a note on my contact form on my website that I read emails sent through there but do not respond

• Being at my desk all day

I’m both excited and a little freaked out. For those of you who are familiar with the Clifton Strengthsfinder personality paradigm, I have the Achiever strength in my top three. Achievers are not great at resting or doing things that aren’t “productive.” But I’m hoping I can trick my “Achiever” because rest, in this case, will serve my job (and my health and my family.) I need the creativity and energy coffers refilled.

I may end up documenting this process. I haven’t decided yet. But if I do, and you’re interested in following along, I’ll share where that will be.

My first goal on this journey is to actually start using some of the cookbooks from my giant collection and to shop in actual grocery stores instead of ordering Amazon Fresh at the last minute in between work projects and hoping I ordered enough stuff to keep everyone fed.

And if I needed any extra validation, when I told my mom what I was thinking of doing, her first response was, “Oh, thank God! You’ve been a mess.”

LOL. Moms. They tell it to you straight. <3

So, a sabbatical. It’s happening.

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If you’re curious about sabbaticals, here are some great articles and videos I’ve found. Because of course, I researched this to death first, lol.

Stefan Sagmeister on why he takes a year off every seven years:

The Great Resignation Has Morphed Into the Great Sabbatical on Fast Company

The Work of Rest: Investing In Yourself with a Sabbatical on Psychology Today

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Romantic Movie Marathon

Title: Clueless

Release date: July 19, 1995

Where to Watch:  HBO Max

Starring: Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy, Paul Rudd

Directed by Amy Heckerling

Official description (from HBO): “A teen queen tries to run her friends' lives...and realizes that she has a lot to learn about running her own. Alicia Silverstone 'is a total winner' ('N.Y. Daily News') as Cher, the prettiest and most popular girl in school, who feels it's her duty to use her popularity for a good cause...like turning a frumpy new student into a teenage bombshell.”

My description: Loosely based on Jane Austen’s Emma. Cher is a well-intentioned but often misguided popular girl in her southern California high school who wants to use her popularity to help others and do some matchmaking.

My Review 

1 . Is it actually a romance? Cher’s romance is not the entirety of the movie but yes, I would call this a romance or at the very least a teen comedy with romantic subplots.

2 . Romantic tropes - enemies to lovers, forbidden love (won’t spoil why), based on Emma, cool girl/nerdy guy, cinnamon roll hero, matchmaking heroine

3 . Sweet or steamy? sweet

4 . Swoonworthy love interest? yes

5 . Would I want to be friends with the main character? well, duh ;)

6 . Does it show its age? yes, but in mostly fabulous ways. It’s a snapshot of a certain version of the 90s. However, because it’s from the 90s, there are also some things that don’t age well today (gay stereotypes, using certain words as insults that we wouldn’t use now, that kind of thing.)

7 . Would I rewatch? I’ve seen this one so many times so yes

8 . Favorite moments: First, the soundtrack is fantastic. As the movie starts, hearing “Kids in America” just brings me back. The class debate scenes are some of my favorites. I’ve heard that the way Cher pronounced Haitians (Hate-ee-yuns) was not part of the script but when they heard her say it wrong, they kept it.

9 . Thoughts: I was fifteen when this movie came out, so this is one of those that, like, imprinted on me. I definitely went out and bought plaid skirts and knees socks (even though I was going to Catholic school and already had to wear a plaid skirt every day, lol.) And I loved that the movie created its own language and that we all started using the slang. Ugh, as if. (Check out this Mental Floss article if you want more: 15 Phat Pieces of Clueless Slang) Plus, Cher feels different from the normal popular rich girl trope because she’s just so goddang earnest. She really wants to help. She really wants to be better. She just often has no clue how to go about it. Watching her journey is so much fun. And the romance is just super sweet and squishy.

I don’t know how this one would land if you aren’t of my generation. It’s too much a part of my childhood for me to be objective, but I just think it’s such a fun movie.

10 . Rating: 5 stars

Thoughts on Clueless? Anyone else still using slang from it?

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